Globalist Gazette delay "Appallingly unprofessional."

World's Elite outraged at being deprived of their vital news source.

Bono, who has been quite silent these past few years except for calls to replace an entire population in May 2020, has launched a scathing attack at the staff of this publication for failure to produce a weekly post. “People are waiting on this week’s instalment. What the f*ck are you guys doing?” an enraged rocker screamed down the phone at a rather upset receptionist before he abruptly slammed down the phone. While it is gratifying to know that this journal is such essential reading for eminent figures, it is important to understand that life gets in the way sometimes, and delays do happen. Bono’s call was one of many to our receptionists whom have since been outsourced. Tony Blair trashed one of his many mansions out of frustration on Monday morning before being calmed down with soothing music and a nice bath.

Bono screams at an African baby as his mother pretends not to notice.

Editor’s note: Whilst we sincerely appreciate the enthusiasm for our publication, we ask for calm and patience. Normal service will resume.

Thank you.

Charles Foster Kane.