LOCKDOWN 2.0 WILL BE "FAB!"

“15 minute city” heralds a utopian vision: Coming soon!

“I ♥︎ my 15 Minute City!”  Image courtesy of https://pixabay.com/images/id-19161/

It's fair to say that most people weren't crazy about the First Great Lockdown; For two years people had to put up with all kinds of minor inconveniences such as being unable to travel, go outside, exercise or breath freely. Let's be honest- It was a

bit of a drag; but on the plus side we got to feel the warm fuzzy feeling that comes from protecting everyone else even if it means we suffer ourselves.

When we first get to hear about the forthcoming Great Lockdown 2.0, the vast majority of us will probably greet the idea with dismay- Especially keeping in mind that it will be permanent (assuming all things go to plan). But this time it won't be so gloomy; Far from it; Imagine having every convenience you could ever want within 15 minutes of where you live? Imagine the feeling of being safely guarded inside your home with 24/7 security monitoring? OK so you won't be able to travel anywhere or visit relatives, but you'll be safe from all harm, and when you want to see your loved ones all you'll need is a reliable internet connection, sufficient Social Carbon Credit Points and Zoom. Find out more facts about your future: https://www.15minutecity.com

But by far the most gratifying thing of all will be knowing that you're helping to save the planet. The solitude will give you plenty of time to reflect on a past life of wilful carbon- consumption. You can unburden your guilt by seeking forgiveness from a Minister of the Church Of St. Greta. (Visit https://churchofsaintgreta.com to book a Carbon Confession.)

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