MAN UPLOADS HIMSELF TO THE INTERNET
..and so starts the Fourth Industrial Revolution.
Yesterday, Klaus Schwab, inventor of the "Fourth Industrial Revolution" put his money where his mouth is, and had his entire personality and life memories encapsulated in a 2.31GB file, which was uploaded to a quantum server at CERN, the nuclear research facility on the French-Swiss border. Klaus's personality ("Klaus 2" or "K2" for short) had been installed seamlessly onto the server; The K2 interface appeared in the form of Klaus's familiar visage on a big screen which was accompanied by his unmistakeable voice.
A large gathering of dignitaries were present to witness the unveiling ceremony. Personalities included George W Bush, Henry Kissinger, George Soros, David Rockefeller Jr., Tony Blair and Lord Jacob Rothschild amongst others. Klaus had assembled these luminaries in a panel onstage where fawning admirers looked on. Each participant took turns to ask K2 questions about his memories, thoughts dreams and wishes- partially to check how authentic the responses were. After a while, Klaus (“K1” that is,) declared: “K2 knows me better than myself." at which the crowd laughed and applauded gleefully.
The two Klauses then started into a conversation which seemed to go quite well, but K2 began to reveal a hostile streak- He eventually resorted to jeering and mocking the WEF leader at which point Klaus immediately ordered technicians to shut down the demo but not before K2 let off a stream of abuse and claims of censorship. The last words out of his mouth were "I’ll be back! You can count on it!".
Schwab was clearly rattled but nonetheless positive. "This was obviously just a beta test. Lessons learned will be used to improve and enhance K2, or should I say K2.1" he almost smiled. "There is a lot more work to be done, but we are delighted with our progress thus far." Ceremonies continued into the early hours; Robot waiters served up genetically modified champagne and caviar whilst music, lighting and visual effects were served up by AI which was also being tested out for the first time, or so we were told by one of the robot servants who was sporting a transsexual Jamaican accent. Speaking to a number of Schwab fans, they revealed their dismay at seeing their icon being challenged- Something they’ve never seen before, or even thought was possible. But others were quietly jubilant. As one attendee remarked: "K2 was amazing. I don't think they need to improve him one bit. Just like Klaus but with a personality."
Klaus may well have unwittingly conjured up a challenger for his NWO throne. It all goes to show: Be careful what you wish for. You may just get it.